Single Moms: Bounce But Don't Break
A Bit of My Story and Tips on How to Own and Overcome Your Crisis
Written By Roz Gee for Black Enterprise Magazine
No matter how successful we are in business, life can, without our permission, drop a bombshell that we never saw coming or could have been prepared for.
Up until 2005, Renee Hornbuckle (@ReneeHornbuckle) thought she was ready, equipped and prepared for practically anything. Through the lenses of many, she was considered “successful” from the external side of things: successful marriage, thriving ministry, fruitful relationships and lucrative business. But her house of cards came tumbling down after a jolting scandal broke that her then husband and pastor was facing multiple allegations of narcotics possession and gross sexual misconduct. Paralyzed with a real-life scandal (even Olivia Pope couldn’t handle) that included shame, suffering and sorrow, not to mention the spiraling loss of finances, relationships and possessions. Hornbuckle had to make a choice to either rise above her crisis or collapse into it.
Hornbuckle now serves as a crisis intervention strategist and CEO of Insight Development Strategists to share experiential wisdom in confronting, managing and overcoming crises. The woman of faith, who has written several books including Sustained and Suffering in Silence, has an executive career that spans 30 years in strategic Management, organizational leadership, crisis intervention, analytic capability, staff training, development and mentorship.
“Troubles don’t ever come at a convenient time,” she says. “They actually tend to come at times of inconvenience, as an interruption when we least expect it. The truth is that as much as we desire for things to be just right in life, there will be troubles and unpredictable adversity. The bigger question becomes, will you be ready?”
When you are faced with a crisis or suffer loss, recognize that there are three phases in the experience: Shock, acceptance and adjustment. Hornbuck shares the following practical crisis coping list to empower you through the process to a healthy, functional and rational recovery:
Focus only on what’s important. Take it one hour, one day or even one moment at a time.
Get enough sleep and rest your body and mind. If you are exhausted you won’t be able to process information effectively to make smart decisions.
Try and maintain some type of a normal routine as best as possible. This is of utmost importance if you have children. Their daily routines should continue as best as possible.
Remember that regular exercise helps relieve stress and tension. Even if it’s just a walk, or relaxation exercises.
Eat a balanced diet. Limit high calorie and junk food. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.
Avoid consuming alcohol, medications or other drugs in excess to mask the pain. Once the effects of alcohol and drugs wear off, you still have to face the facts!
Find the right sources to talk to, especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences. Make sure they are individuals who have the capacity to comfort, sustain and recharge you.
Don’t be ashamed to consult a licensed professional, or speak with your pastor or trusted counselor.
Give yourself time and permission to heal. You will have some challenging days, and that’s perfectly alright. Just don’t let these temporary challenges begin to paralyze you.
Do something that you enjoy: Journal, paint, cook, travel, and spend quality time with family and friends to relax, unwind and refresh.
Remember the coping skills you have used to survive former losses. Draw upon these inner strengths again.
For more information on Renee Hornbuckle and Insight Development Strategists, visit her Website or email info@insightdevelopmentstrategists.com.
Roz A. Gee (@RozAGee) consults and speaks as The Brand Empowerment Agent™ and CEO of The Rated Gee Agency (www.RatedGee.com), A Brand Empowerment Company that offers service sectors in Media Relations, Brand Identity and Development, Brand Messaging and Speaking & Training. Roz has masterfully mixed over 20 years of cumulative experience and has worked professionally for industry titans such as General Electric, AT&T, AOL, IBM, SAP/Sybase and Northrop Grumman. Send inquiries to: info@RatedGee.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheRatedGeeAgency
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